Watercolor - Success

 How to Talk to Negative Self-Talk and Neutralize It Gently

If you occasionally struggle with negative self-talk, you aren’t alone. Inner dialogue is natural for all of us. It’s one of the ways we process what’s going on around us.

Sometimes, we let people or events trigger inner dialogue that is hardly positive. So I’ve devised a strategy for turning this around by taking a gentle approach and neutralizing negative self-talk before it neutralizes you.

Suppose you catch yourself listening to inner dialogue that sounds like “I’m going to screw this up again. Why can’t I do anything right? What do I use for brains anyway?”

Here is my “kinder and gentler” approach to neutralizing negative self-talk.

Take a deep breath. Elevate your gaze as if looking at an imaginary point just above a distant horizon.

Cock your head slightly as if listening to someone in front of you that is whispering. (This gesture activates your internal sense of hearing.)

Now call to mind what the negative self-talk sounded like. Almost invariably, the negative self-talk took on a whining, plaintive, complaining tone.

Suppose you respond to this negative self-talk. One could yell back and say “Shut up!” However, what happens when someone says that a real person in real life. That someone tends to shout back! So this approach is usually counterproductive.

Instead, let your mind respond in a soft, smooth, self-assuring, patient tone. How might you respond if you were responding to a small child that was verbally running him or herself down?

You would sound calming and reassuring. And the child would sense this in your voice.

Using this experience (real or imagined, it makes no difference) as a guide, let your mind form the words as you respond to negative self-talk. You might say, “Now I’m really all right. I can find my way this. And I have a wonderfully creative mind and I’m learning to use it more creative ways every day.

“So you rest easy. I’ll take care of this and everything will be just fine.”

Let your mind choose any words that work for you. However, let the imaginary tone be calming and soothing.

Call to mind the next time negative self-talk is likely to strike. Here the pesky voice. Hear that whining, plaintive, complaining tone.

Now call to mind the reassuring words and the soothing tone and gently talk to that negative self-talk. As you hear yourself neutralizing negative self-talk, see yourself resuming whatever you were doing with confidence and self-assurance.

So when your mind sinks into negative self-talk, lift yourself up with a little gentle reassurance. This is positive self-talk at its most effective and empowering.